Thursday, 23 April 2009

Labour Party, I Think It’s Time To Budget!

Happy St George’s Day everyone. Well the lily livered, spineless Chancellor let us down big time.

This Budget was supposed to have led us out of recession, instead of that he tried to retain the few Labour voters left in the country.

He lied about the speed of economic recovery, he predicted that the economy would shrink by 3.5% this year, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) says it will shrink by 4.1%. He said that the economy will grow by 1.25% next year, the IMF says it will shrink a further 0.4%. This leads to an all time record borrowing of, wait for it, £175 billion.

To salve the Labour faithful, he hammered the higher earner, gave the pensioners a few coppers more and increased child credit. In a populist move, he only increased alcohol and tobacco by the usual pennies.

The most ludicrous thing to come out of this budget is the grand opening of ‘Honest Al’s Car Sales’ where Al will give you £2000 for your old banger, (no sir, he didn’t mean your wife), against a new car.
Hang on a minute, I’ll give Al a call.

Me: “Hello, is that Al’s”

Al: “Yes sir, how may I help you?”

Me: “I hear that you will give me £2000 trade in against my old car, if I buy a new one.”

Al: “ Mmm, well that’s not strictly true sir. I will give you £1000 towards it and the poor motor company, you know, the one that’s sinking faster than the ‘Titanic’, the one that’s already slashed it’s prices to the bone, will give you the other £1000. You can pay the balance with your redundancy pay and Job Seekers Allowance. We are also doing a special offer, 2p ON a litre of fuel.”

Me: "I'll get back to you on that one, NOT!"

Gordon, I think it’s time you traded Alistair in!

1 comment:

  1. Apparently this scheme has been tried in Germany but failed to stimulate their failing motor industry because people are using the government handout to buy very cheap cars from the Eastern block countries, especially Poland. This isn't helping the German economy at all.