Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

The Twits At Whitehall Strike Again

There’s no wonder why journalists call this time of the year ‘silly season’, the period in summer when there are no decent news stories worth getting your teeth into.

I’ve been becalmed in an ocean of no-news for a couple of days now, so in sheer desperation I offer you this story!

Hands up all of you that are ‘tweeters‘, that is, do you have an account with the micro-blog site ‘Twitter’?

It appears that anybody who is anyone in HM Government is a ‘tweeter’, so much so that the government has seen fit to compile and distribute a twenty page, 5,382 word strategy paper for its departments on how to use ‘Twitter’.

When ‘Twitter’ subscribers want to make entries into their little tiny blogs they find themselves limited to 140 characters per message. If you are a member of the government you will have at hand this document showing you how the enter these 140 characters in no less than 36,215 characters of instruction!

If, instead of issuing this as a document, the government decided to distribute it using good old ‘Twitter’, it would take getting on for 260 separate ‘Tweets’.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that ‘Twitter’ has its uses but why, oh why do they have to create a manual, when the actual meat of the document could be distributed in a two page email.

So there you have it, you now know what the twits are spending your money on!

Friday, 12 June 2009

Buyer Beware

It transpires that the Governments car scrappage scheme, you know the one, trade your old car in, the Government gives you £1000 and the dealer gives you £1000 against a new car, ‘nobody loses, everybody wins, Rodney‘, has turned out to be a loser!

Quote from today’s ‘Times’: “Manufacturers who normally offer loans with interest rates as low as 3.9 per cent are charging customers on the scheme up to 10.4 per cent. Drivers could be better off ignoring the £2,000 grant and obtaining a more competitive finance deal after selling their old car separately, according to a study by Parker’s car price guide.”

For example, selected Seat models are being offered with 0 per cent finance outside the scheme, but if you apply for the grant, 8.5 per cent is what you will be charged.

Manufacturers were unhappy with having to fund half of the scrappage grant, and I for one don’t blame them. They see this as an opportunity to get their money back.

The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders said: “Unlike most European scrappage schemes, which are entirely funded by government, the UK scheme demands an industry contribution of £1,000 to match the Government’s own input.
In some cases, where manufacturer profit margins are low, they are not able to offer additional incentives which may still be available on non-scrappage models and this may be reflected in the finance arrangements.”

That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Gordon!

Friday, 5 June 2009

Et Tu Purnell?

Last night, James Purnell, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, stepped down from the cabinet and told Prime Minister Gordon Brown to "stand aside".

With the government crumbling before his very eyes and almost certainly poor, no, make that bad results in today’s elections, poor old Gordon has nowhere to go now, so as a Parthian shot, why doesn’t he teach all of his ministerial toe rags a lesson by going to the Palace and calling for the dissolution of parliament?

He can then sit in his garden on sunny summer mornings, writing his memoirs, while his old “mates” are all out looking for a proper job!

Monday, 25 May 2009

There is a happy land, far, far away, somewhere

As it’s Bank Holiday Monday today, here’s just a quick thought.

The government is urging graduates to consider a spell working abroad, whether in internships or volunteering, to avoid the worst of the recession.

Are the government going to let everybody know exactly where abroad this recession free Utopia is, so that we can all move there?

Friday, 22 May 2009

It's Good News Day

After a couple of weeks of government sleaze stories it’s nice to read good news for a change.

After a ‘U’ turn by the government, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith announced that Gurkhas who retired before 1997 can settle in the UK with their immediate families.

What I found strange was Ms Smith saying that she was "proud to offer this country's welcome to all who have served in the brigade of Gurkhas". Why was she proud yesterday, but didn’t give a toss when this was discussed a few weeks ago?

I don’t know if this decision was prompted by people power or by government spin, trying to catch a few votes!

Whatever the reason, justice has prevailed.


In another story, the People's Trust for Endangered Species (PTES), who have been running the National Dormouse Monitoring Programme since 1988, have found that the number of dormice fell by 9% between 2002 and 2008, compared with 31% from 1992 to 2002.

PTES said there was "reason to be optimistic" that conservation efforts were proving effective.

Jim Jones of the PTES, said: "While the slowdown in the decline is very encouraging, the species is still in decline, so conservation and monitoring efforts remain a priority if dormice are not to disappear from the British countryside."

There have been 16 successful reintroductions of more than 600 dormice in the past 16 years.

One small step for conservation, one giant leap for dormice!


And finally, two years ago to this very day, everyone thought that the 140 year old tea clipper, ‘Cutty Sark’ had gone forever when fire ravaged through the ship’s three decks at it’s berth in Greenwich, south east London.

With much dedication, skill and millions of pounds it is announced that this national treasure will be reopened to the public next year.

When the restoration is complete, the ship will have more than 90% of her original features, which is an achievement worth applauding.

I, for one, will be pleased to see this Phoenix arise from the ashes!

After this little round up of the brighter side of life, I can truly say, dear reader, ‘Have a nice day’!

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

England's Green And Pleasant Allotment

I’m a meat eater myself but I have nothing against veggies, vegans and miscellaneous tree-huggers or anyone else that wants to eat healthily. Each to his own I say.

Now here’s the ‘but’!

A study by the University of Reading suggests that if everyone adhered to the government’s promotion of ‘five-a-day’, (fruit and veg that is, not Woodbines), and eat less red meat, it would change the face of Britain forever.

The UK would need 100,000 hectares (386 square miles) of polytunnels to meet the demand for fruit alone.

Demand for red meat would drop by 20% and dairy products by 40%.
This would mean 1.5m fewer head of livestock, leaving the upland hills, favoured by walkers and tourists, un-grazed.
Land would become covered in scrub and gorse, and if left alone would become inaccessible to visitors.

Professor Bruce Traill of Reading University, said: "Undoubtedly the UK government has a duty to promote the health of the population and within this research project we have been looking at the most effective ways of doing that, whether by fiscal measures, social marketing, or by trying to enhance the nutritional qualities of the foods that people eat.
There is potential in all of these approaches, if they are targeted effectively. But we do also have to consider the potential unintended consequences of policies.
For rural communities, such as the dairying industry of South-West England and upland areas of the UK these could be far-reaching and need to be taken into account."

The report also says that increased production of fruit and vegetables in the East and South East of England would be unlikely to bring more employment.
Because of the scope for machinery to be used for many of the required horticultural operations leading to a minimal need for labour, farmers would probably rely on casual workers.

All of these crops need to be irrigated so there would be a heavy demand on the water supply.

So to sum up. The government want you to live healthier and longer, they can’t afford to pay old age pensions now, so what happens when we are turned into a nation of herbivores and everyone adds a couple of extra years to their lifespan?

Will the government be content knowing that they have had to sacrifice this green and pleasant land to achieve it?

Of course it will, after all, the Department of Health’s statistics will look good, wont they?

I‘m off to have my breakfast now, I’ll have a couple of extra rashers please, Ma!

Saturday, 9 May 2009

R.I.P.

Since my post yesterday, a soldier from 1st Battalion The Royal Gurkha Rifles, another from 173 Provost Company, 3rd Regiment, Royal Military Police and one from 2nd Battalion The Rifles have been killed in Afghanistan.

This brings the total of operational fatalities to 157.
May they rest in peace.

Isn’t there one MP that is brave enough to force a vote on the withdrawal of British troops from this conflict? There must be one man, or woman in the House, with as much guts as these soldiers!

All I can say is, if you see Mr Brown, tell him I want a word with him!

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Flogging A Willing Horse

According to a report by the National Institute for Economic and Social Research, to bring public debt under control in the next ten years, the Government will have to raise the state pension age to 70, or raise the basic rate of Income Tax by 15p in the pound, or cut government spending by 10%, sending education, the NHS etc to the wall!

Why didn’t the Government put this money into their piggy bank instead of committing British troops, and billions of pounds, on the invasion of Iraq, and spending money like a sailor on shore leave, bailing out greedy banks?

I’ve heard of people working past retirement age to pay off their own debts, but this is the first time that I’ve ever heard of anyone doing it to pay for someone else’s mismanagement of money!

Daft I call it!

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Parent power

The Government are outlining plans today for a shake up in education whereby parents in England could get the power to force councils to improve the quality of their local schools.

Parents would be able to demand action at a school in their area, even if their children were not pupils. From what I understand, this would by-pass an OFSTED inspectors enquiry and Government intervention.

It would give parents of primary school pupils the right to complain about a secondary school that their children may be attending in the future. The local authority would have to take these complaints on-board and make every possible effort to raise the school standards. This includes replacing the head teacher, if the authority deems it necessary.

This is all well and good, but to me it seems like the Government has run up the white flag on education.

If the Government has washed its hands of the most basic element of a civilised society, education, then it has washed its hands of the country.

Do you want the country to be governed by a rabble that has turned its back on the future?
No? Nor do I!

Sunday, 3 May 2009

Flight Of Fancy

They’ve upped the ante on yesterdays Home Office taxi story. Now the Government are looking to rent a private jet for a couple of years, for the use of Foreign Secretary, David Milliband.

Ministerial code dictates that scheduled flights should be used, unless deemed impractical. So, apparently, all scheduled flights must be impractical, (and less glamorous?) if he has to have a private jet to take him everywhere.

In 2008, Mr Milliband made more than twenty state trips, Why? Are other countries interested in what he has got to say? Have they even ever heard of him? Possibly the answer to these questions is a resounding NO!

I dare say he could do his job just as well as they did in the ‘old days’, by telephone, but then again, he wouldn’t get a free, all expenses paid holiday every fortnight, would he!

Saturday, 2 May 2009

"Taxi!"

Here’s a story that has managed to keep a low profile this week. The Home Office has spent almost £2,000,000 on taxis and hire cars in the past year.

The bill for taxis was £1,045,671, (excluding tips, I’m assuming), and hire cars cost £917,908.

They are costing the taxpayer thirty three times more for riding in style than they did when Labour came to power in 1997!

So who’s burning all of this rubber? I have a friend who works for the UK Borders Agency, he doesn’t get afforded the luxury of a taxi, even though he has to work awkward hours. Another friend works for Customs and Revenue, he has to use his own means of transport.

My guess is that no non-executive workers who are employed by the Home Office get a free ride in a cab, so who does?

Does Jacqui Smith’s husband call a buckshee cab to pick up his tacky videos? Does the top brass hail a taxi outside of their Whitehall office on Friday afternoon to take them to their weekend retreats down in Cornwall?

We are in a recession so shouldn’t they be leading by example? Surely there is a tube/bus/train that could take them to their destinations!

As Norman Tebbit once said, “Get on your bike!”

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Read All About It

English literature GCSE is not being taken by almost one in four teenage pupils, according to figures published by the Conservative Party.

Why would that be, are they too idle to read, or is it the fact that they cannot read?

Conservative schools spokesman, Michael Gove said, "An understanding and knowledge of English literature is something we would all consider an essential part of education to GCSE level for all pupils. It is therefore shocking that the subject is in decline to the extent that more than one in four pupils does not even sit it at GCSE."

The Government's Schools Minister, Jim Knight countered with, "Michael Gove is talking nonsense. Both the English and English literature GCSEs include Shakespeare and other great works of English literature so it's wrong to say that pupils are not reading the classics.
Last year 96% of pupils sat an exam that included English literature and more young people are achieving the higher grades in English each year."

What Mr Gove is saying is, that pupils should read and understand the complete book, what Mr Knight is saying is, that they just read extracts from the book, and that’s just fine by him!

Which of these right honourable gentlemen would you prefer to oversee your child’s education? You decide!

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Gurkha Justice Rally

It’s Gordon Browns lucky day today. I’m letting him off the hook on his U turn on scrapping MPs second home allowance. They can carry on renting their tacky DVDs and installing their £10,000 kitchens at our expense, for the time being.

Today I’m going to be serious.

When I opened my emails this morning there was one from Miss Joanna Lumley.

She has informed me that Lib Dem leader, Nick Clegg, has agreed to put a vote to Parliament tomorrow, Wednesday 29th April, calling for a fair deal for Gurkhas. This alone won’t change last weeks ruling but it will show the Government that they need to have a re-think.

To coincide with this vote tomorrow, there is to be a Gurkha Justice rally and protest against the Government's decision, starting at noon in Old Palace Yard, Westminster. Joanna has apologised for the short notice and asked that anyone reading this, and has the time tomorrow, to join her there to show your support.

As a final note, Joanna spoke yesterday to Lieutenant Madan Kumar Gurung, who has been at the forefront of the campaign since it began. He told her that he has no fear for the Gurkhas any more, as he knows the loving hearts of the British people will not let them down.

Prove him right, be there tomorrow!

Saturday, 25 April 2009

The Forgotten Army

Is the British Government deliberately courting controversy? Do they know that they have lost the next election, even though it is months before the nomination papers are submitted?

Yesterday they were proved to be inept, or should that be lying, with their calculations on the speed of the economic recovery, and then another bombshell!

They let down, snubbed, call it what you will, the Gurkhas, or to be precise, the entire British armed forces.

The message that the Home Office sent out was, ‘Thanks for serving the Country pal, but now that you have been demobbed, you’re on your own.’

How can a person, for all intents and purposes, be treated as if he were British for fifteen years, and then overnight, as soon as he has been served his demob papers, become an alien?

The Government’s argument is that, if we let the ex-Gurkhas stay in the country, by the time they are joined here by their families, Britain’s population will swell by 100,000.

So what? If the Gurkhas weren’t available to fight for us in the Pacific in WWII, leaving the Allied troops to concentrate on Europe, our population may well have swelled by 82,000,000, all of them German.

The Government’s cop out is that a Gurkha who was demobbed before 1997 can stay if he can meet one of the following criteria:

  • Three years continuous residence in the UK during or after service
  • Close family in the UK
  • A bravery award of level one to three
  • Service of 20 years or more in the Gurkha brigade
  • Chronic or long-term medical condition caused or aggravated by service

This really means, if you are a Gurkha officer, you are more than welcome to stay, if you are one of the other ranks, tough!

As the plaque on the Gurkha Memorial says:

THE GURKHA
SOLDIER

Bravest of the brave,
most generous of the generous,
never had country
more faithful friends
than you.

Perhaps there should have been a final line that reads, “But only when it suits us”?

On behalf of British people everywhere, I apologise to the entire Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal for the treachery of the Government of Great Britain.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Will Twenty Be The New Thirty?

After my Easter break, what do I come back to? I‘ll tell you what. Headlines that say “Plans to cut traffic speed limits.”

The Government want to introduce reductions in the speed limit from 30mph to 20mph in urban locations.

I’m no boy racer but isn’t this a bit OTT. Are they questioning our braking reactions? Do they think that our disc brakes aren’t capable of bringing us to a halt in a matter of inches at 30mph?

In this age of environmental awareness they want us to drive around in third gear, burning fuel like it was water and emitting all kinds of nasties into the atmosphere.

Why not enforce the 30mph law by taking the offenders license away for two or three months. That would be more effective than sticking up a sign post saying 20mph!