As everybody knows, tomorrow (Thursday) is Election Day.
This time around it won’t be so much an election to vote for your county councillor, more of a referendum on whether Gordon Brown should call a general election.
The government is in so much disarray, the outcome doesn’t need predicting.
The lower house has turned into the real, reality show. Forget next week’s forthcoming new series of ‘Big Brother’, it will be no contest.
So far this week we have had three government ministers falling on their swords. Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, Tom Watson, the Cabinet Office minister, (that ones a surprise, he is a close ally of Mr Brown), and Beverley Hughes, the Children’s Minister, are all leaving the Government. We are still waiting for the top scalp in this massacre, Alistair Darling. Surely he must resign!
The Prime Minister is now forced to have a Cabinet reshuffle, but wait, some ministers, including David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, are reluctant to drop their post to take up another.
Four Labour MPs caught up in the expenses scandal, namely Elliot Morley, David Chaytor, Ian Gibson and Margaret Moran were all barred from standing at the next election by the party’s disciplinary panel. Jim Devine has also been referred to the panel over allegations that he submitted receipts from a firm that may not have existed.
To top it all, there’s a rumour going around that senior Labour MPs were urging colleagues to sign a letter declaring that they had no confidence in Mr Brown.
All we need now is sex! Are we only days away from seeing a couple of back benchers copulating on a bench at the back?
Expenses scandal? Tony Blair must be sitting in his £4m mansion laughing up his Armani sleeve!
Showing posts with label Alistair Darling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alistair Darling. Show all posts
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Labour Party, I Think It’s Time To Budget!
Happy St George’s Day everyone. Well the lily livered, spineless Chancellor let us down big time.
This Budget was supposed to have led us out of recession, instead of that he tried to retain the few Labour voters left in the country.
He lied about the speed of economic recovery, he predicted that the economy would shrink by 3.5% this year, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) says it will shrink by 4.1%. He said that the economy will grow by 1.25% next year, the IMF says it will shrink a further 0.4%. This leads to an all time record borrowing of, wait for it, £175 billion.
To salve the Labour faithful, he hammered the higher earner, gave the pensioners a few coppers more and increased child credit. In a populist move, he only increased alcohol and tobacco by the usual pennies.
The most ludicrous thing to come out of this budget is the grand opening of ‘Honest Al’s Car Sales’ where Al will give you £2000 for your old banger, (no sir, he didn’t mean your wife), against a new car.
Hang on a minute, I’ll give Al a call.
Me: “Hello, is that Al’s”
Al: “Yes sir, how may I help you?”
Me: “I hear that you will give me £2000 trade in against my old car, if I buy a new one.”
Al: “ Mmm, well that’s not strictly true sir. I will give you £1000 towards it and the poor motor company, you know, the one that’s sinking faster than the ‘Titanic’, the one that’s already slashed it’s prices to the bone, will give you the other £1000. You can pay the balance with your redundancy pay and Job Seekers Allowance. We are also doing a special offer, 2p ON a litre of fuel.”
Me: "I'll get back to you on that one, NOT!"
Gordon, I think it’s time you traded Alistair in!
This Budget was supposed to have led us out of recession, instead of that he tried to retain the few Labour voters left in the country.
He lied about the speed of economic recovery, he predicted that the economy would shrink by 3.5% this year, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) says it will shrink by 4.1%. He said that the economy will grow by 1.25% next year, the IMF says it will shrink a further 0.4%. This leads to an all time record borrowing of, wait for it, £175 billion.
To salve the Labour faithful, he hammered the higher earner, gave the pensioners a few coppers more and increased child credit. In a populist move, he only increased alcohol and tobacco by the usual pennies.
The most ludicrous thing to come out of this budget is the grand opening of ‘Honest Al’s Car Sales’ where Al will give you £2000 for your old banger, (no sir, he didn’t mean your wife), against a new car.
Hang on a minute, I’ll give Al a call.
Me: “Hello, is that Al’s”
Al: “Yes sir, how may I help you?”
Me: “I hear that you will give me £2000 trade in against my old car, if I buy a new one.”
Al: “ Mmm, well that’s not strictly true sir. I will give you £1000 towards it and the poor motor company, you know, the one that’s sinking faster than the ‘Titanic’, the one that’s already slashed it’s prices to the bone, will give you the other £1000. You can pay the balance with your redundancy pay and Job Seekers Allowance. We are also doing a special offer, 2p ON a litre of fuel.”
Me: "I'll get back to you on that one, NOT!"
Gordon, I think it’s time you traded Alistair in!
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Buddy Can You Spare a Grand?
Two stories grabbed my attention on this bright and sunny Budget Day, ‘UK suffers first signs of deflation’ and ‘Royal Mint privatisation closer’.
This is the stuff that makes the train of thought pull out of the station.
What if the deflation gathers apace and turns into hyper-deflation? Will we need coins, ergo, will we need a Royal Mint or are they going to mint £50 and £100 pound coins? Will £1 buy you 5 Euro cents?
The old man shaking his tin cup in the High Street may well be asking, “Spare a £1000 for a cuppa, guv!”
Turning back to deflation, the last time the UK was in this state was way back in 1960.
I guess that most working people now, wouldn’t remember those heady days, so to give an idea of the distance in time, Harold Macmillan was the UK Prime Minister, JFK was going through his election campaign in the US, nobody had ever heard of the ‘Beatles’, the whole country was waiting with bated breath to see the first ever episode of ‘Coronation Street’, which was transmitted in the December of that year, and yours truly was in the last year of his teens!
We survived that recession so I suppose we will manage to come out of this one alive.
Today’s Budget should prove to be the most interesting one in history.
If darling Alistair doesn’t give us some bad tasting medicine to get us through this, if instead he chases the populist vote with a few mamby pamby cuts here and meaningless concessions there, I think the best thing that Mr Brown can do for his Queen and Country is to give him a revolver and tell him to do the honourable thing!
This is the stuff that makes the train of thought pull out of the station.
What if the deflation gathers apace and turns into hyper-deflation? Will we need coins, ergo, will we need a Royal Mint or are they going to mint £50 and £100 pound coins? Will £1 buy you 5 Euro cents?
The old man shaking his tin cup in the High Street may well be asking, “Spare a £1000 for a cuppa, guv!”
Turning back to deflation, the last time the UK was in this state was way back in 1960.
I guess that most working people now, wouldn’t remember those heady days, so to give an idea of the distance in time, Harold Macmillan was the UK Prime Minister, JFK was going through his election campaign in the US, nobody had ever heard of the ‘Beatles’, the whole country was waiting with bated breath to see the first ever episode of ‘Coronation Street’, which was transmitted in the December of that year, and yours truly was in the last year of his teens!
We survived that recession so I suppose we will manage to come out of this one alive.
Today’s Budget should prove to be the most interesting one in history.
If darling Alistair doesn’t give us some bad tasting medicine to get us through this, if instead he chases the populist vote with a few mamby pamby cuts here and meaningless concessions there, I think the best thing that Mr Brown can do for his Queen and Country is to give him a revolver and tell him to do the honourable thing!
Friday, 3 April 2009
The world's greatest whip-round.
Leaders of the world's largest economies (and Britain) have agreed to tackle the global financial crisis with measures worth $1.1 trillion.
If you write this figure down in numerals it looks more like binary code than a number.
Mr Brown and his Chancellor, Mr Darling have thrown so much money at the banks and other financial institutions recently I’ve calculated that Britain can only afford to chip in to this fund with something around a fiver!
Gordon, mate, as a country, we’re on the edge of bankruptcy ourselves, so don’t go making anymore rash promises, there’s a good boy!
If you write this figure down in numerals it looks more like binary code than a number.
Mr Brown and his Chancellor, Mr Darling have thrown so much money at the banks and other financial institutions recently I’ve calculated that Britain can only afford to chip in to this fund with something around a fiver!
Gordon, mate, as a country, we’re on the edge of bankruptcy ourselves, so don’t go making anymore rash promises, there’s a good boy!
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